Stripped Naked - From Fixation to Freedom by Lissa Friedman

This article focuses on how the fixation comes into being; how the nurturing environment affects its development and the path to freedom.

The first part of the article describes the origin of fixation and the nurturing environment. The second part of the article presents how each of the nine fixations distorts perception, and influences life.

There are three shifts in perception: the initial distorted perception, the personal delusion, and the reaction to the delusion. Behavioral pattern develops as a compensating mechanism.

Each fixation is the seed of its essence. There is nothing wrong with the seed; it is just not the whole Truth. By accepting the fixation we become aware of the distorted perceptions and beliefs, without judgment, which allows the distortions to relax. We begin to face life naked, without all the trappings of the fixation, and our True essence is revealed.

By shedding the distorted perceptions and beliefs and facing life naked, without all the trappings of the fixation, the essence is revealed. In Part three the path to freedom or essence for each fixation is explained.

Nature or Nurture

There are essentially two perspectives on how the fixation is formed. The first is that we are born with this particular knot, kink, or blind spot. The other is that something occurs in childhood, and we fixate in a particular way. I subscribe to the first perspective.

Almaas’ work supports this perspective as well. Jaxon-Bear (in his audio tapes on The Enneagram of Liberation) refers to a study with twins where it was found that identical twins when separated at birth had the same fixation; while fraternal twins whether separated or not had different fixations.

You can notice this yourself by looking at children when they are very young or first-born; they already have specific dispositions. Also, ask adult children from the same family to describe what most affected them in their childhood. One will talk about the father, the other the mother, and another maybe the general emotional environment. It will seem like they came from different families.

From this point of view the fixation is already present in the womb and is part of the DNA. We are born with a specific blind spot or knot of distortion. We perceive our initial environment through this distortion. Later there are events and situations that seem to support and build on this misperception. It may seem like there is a point in time in childhood when the fixation came into being. Usually those definitive events occurred when you were mature enough to recognize and conceptualize something as not right. Yet even in the pre-verbal stages of development there is fixation.

With this perspective we are born with a specific fixation, which influences how we perceive our environment. This combined with the quality of the nurturing environment account for the level of functioning within the fixation.

Nurturing Environment

The nurturing environment includes parents, siblings, the home itself, financial security, the extended family, the neighborhood, school, and community. For the nurturing environment to provide all that we need to grow, stay open, and flourish, it must provide for our needs well. Our parents must be attuned to our particular need for food, affection, warmth, quiet or noise, stimulation, etc. There should be harmony in the home, and a sense of safety. It should be all this and still prepare us for what might occur in school and in the world in general.

Needless to say there will be a lack somewhere. Our parents are bound to fall short in some way. Even if our parents were both awakened or liberated it is still possible for them to overlook or misunderstand our specific needs. In most cases parents are asleep, and still struggling with their ego identities or fixations. When parents respond from fixated behavior there will be a lack in the process of nurturing. There will be a distortion in their perception and their behavior will be influenced by that distortion. There will either be too little or too much of something - too much or too little attention, too much or too little stimulation, too much or not enough emotion, etc.

This basic lack is referred to as the inadequate nurturing environment. This inadequacy is a given! We were all raised with some lack, and our children were raised with some lack. It is the condition of being human. Certainly, there can be more and less healthy nurturing environments and the level of functioning will affect the children.

Having been born with a particular blind spot or fixation we already have a distorted way of perceiving. We begin life by perceiving the nurturing environment through this veil of distortion. Certainly, there is something wrong; our parents also have these distortions; but, our perception of what is wrong comes from the fixation. Having a fixation in itself makes us feel separate and disconnected.

This separation is then viewed through the lens of fixation. There is an initial distortion of perception. There is a reaction to this distortion, and then a compensation to ease the pain.

For example the tendency of the Nine fixation is to try to numb themselves to the discomforts of life. They are born with the distortion of feeling inferior. From birth they perceive the environment as unloving. The reaction to this is, “I am inferior.” This is too painful to know so they compensate by going to sleep, or numbing out.

The Fixations perception of the Nurturing Environment

One Fixation

The One’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is, “there is something wrong.” This perception will then flavor all the experiences of life. The One’s view of life will attempt to continually prove that there is something wrong.

This perception is then filtered further through the distortion of fixation and a personal delusion is formed. For the One the personal delusion is, “there is something wrong with me, I am flawed.” For this fixation the delusion is internalized and externalized at the same time.

After the initial perception of something wrong and the personal delusion of being flawed the One has a reaction. Their reaction is to feel resentment and get angry. This anger is held in because it would not be perfect (it would be flawed) to be angry, but it flavors their experience and makes them reject and say no to life. They are always qualifying life with expressions like, “we’ll see…for now…that won’t last…you never know, etc.” This is a way of rejecting and pushing things away.

Compensation

The perception of being flawed is too difficult to bear, so the One finds a way to compensate. The method of compensation for the One is to try to find their flaws and fix them. The compensation has the effect of supporting the original distortion that there is something wrong, and that there is something wrong with me.

The average functioning One fixation focuses on self improvement. They are always observing themselves to find what is wrong. This observation overflows into the environment and they begin to notice the flaws in the environment and in others. For the average functioning One, they are being helpful. Since they are on the look out for what is wrong with them, they think that others would like this feedback as well. This is usually not the case. More often people find One(s) critical, judgmental, and hard to please. What the One is looking for is already present within them. They are unconsciously searching for their essence, which is pristine clarity, or purity. This is perfection and it includes all of What Is even that which seems to be flawed.

Jerry a man with the One fixation grew up in a family with two older sisters and an older brother. He remembers getting punished too harshly for his mistakes when he was growing up, he also remembers trying to be a good kid. When he did get punished he knew it was because there was something wrong with him. He never had the perception that his parents might be acting inappropriately. He was closer to his father even though he was and is an alcoholic. Jerry explained that overall he was a “good boy” and received love and affection and a sense of being special. As an adult he tends to be critical of others, but mostly of himself; feeling not really good enough. He feels most inadequate around his intellect, even though people that know him see him as very bright.

Jerry’s sister Sara (has the Two fixation), the oldest sibling, was and is the pleaser in the family. She had a good relationship with both parents; but she was closer to her father. As the oldest she received enough attention, and was treated well. She got away with more than the other siblings; who feel that she got away with what she did because she is a pleaser.

The next oldest female, Gloria (probably has a Four fixation), had a whole different take on the family experience. She has a chip on her shoulder about being overlooked and not getting credit for her accomplishments. She is the rebel; thriving on being unusual and eccentric. Her perception is that she was never good enough for her mother, and holds a great deal of resentment toward her mother. She is not as critical of her father. As an adult she lives a “free spirited” life style, and is the martyred single mother.

Gary is the oldest male child, probably has a One fixation. He felt not good enough, and that he would never measure up to his mother’s expectations. As an adult he is the most distant in his communication with his family. He is often angry, and critical. He is also less judgmental of his father.

Two Fixation

The Two’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is, “their needs will never be met.” This initial perception will be the filter for life until the knot of the fixation is untied. Because of this perception the Two’s reactions and behaviors will constantly recreate this in life.

This perception is then filtered further through the distortion of fixation and a personal delusion is formed. For the Two the delusion is, “I don’t have needs.” This is a natural movement toward survival, since your needs will not be fulfilled why bother having them. Underlying this is the deeper fear and delusion, “I will not be able to take care of myself”.

This reflects the ultimate fear that there is no divine intelligence that supports existence; that it is up to each individual; and they are not up to the task. These are the infants that don’t cry, and the parents think they are so good. After all they have so many other demands; another crying child is the last thing they want.

After this initial perception, the reaction is to try to manipulate the environment. There is the unconscious sense that no one will take care of them and they can’t do it themselves. In order to survive they find ways to manipulate others. They become kind and giving so others will do that for them. The Two tries to get their needs met with their will! Their reaction is to believe that they will get their needs met in spite of this environment. This is the false Pride of Ego. This is a form of denial or repression. They block from consciousness the awareness that their needs will not be met and expect life to go their way.

Compensation

It is too painful to know that their needs will not be met, so there must be some type of compensation. This often takes the form of seducing others through acts of kindness. Instead of being aware of their needs, they look for the needs of others and focus their attention on fulfilling these needs. When this is done there is the hidden expectation that somehow this giving will bring to them what they need.

When the Two is giving, they are modeling what they want others to do for them. This is a form of bribery. When they still don’t get their needs met they get angry at others and at life; reinforcing the original distortion that I will never get my needs met. Before the kindness turns to anger it simulates the essence of Kindness, which is spontaneous selfless action and has no agenda.

Cathy, a woman with the Two fixation grew up in a family with an older brother and a younger sister. Her mother was depressed and her father was unavailable. She desperately craved attention and tried to do and be what she thought everyone wanted, so they would love her. She always had the feeling that she would never be loved, and her needs would never be met. Cathy didn’t remember being daddy’s special little girl until she reached puberty. Then her father, who had never really noticed her, became possessive and intrusive. He began telling her about his sexual problems with her mother. Cathy was disturbed by these interactions. When she left home she went wild; having sex with whom ever she could, in an attempt to find love. It never worked.

Cathy’s brother Lou, has the One fixation. He was angry and bitter as a child. His mother didn’t have enough time for him, and his father was unavailable. When their parents divorced no one wanted him. From Lou’s perspective he raised himself. He was bitter and angry because he was so aware of what everyone was doing wrong. As an adult, he still believes that he knows what is right and others don’t. He finds life and people to be annoying.

Three Fixation

The Three’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is “the world is unsupportive.” This distortion is then further filtered through the Three fixation and a personal delusion is formed. For the Three it is, “I am separate, and therefore my actions are independent of others.” In other words they don’t have the sense of how what they do or say impacts others. In order for this delusion to function they must be cut off from their emotions - so that they do not feel the effects of what others do and are not sensitive to how others feel.

The reaction to this feeling of separation is to become frightened of having emotions. The Three fixation is cut off from love and from any connection to others. They don’t have any sense of being loveable for who they are. This would be unbearable to feel. So, they cut themselves off from their emotions. This also makes it easier not to feel the emotions of others.

Compensation

In order not to feel their emotions the three fixation becomes very productive. Production has a dual function: it blocks the emotions, and it provides a way for the Three to feel worthwhile. This compensates for the deep inner condition of not feeling loveable, or worthy of being loved. Since they actually are not in contact with their emotions, they can trick themselves into believing that what they do gives them value and makes them worthwhile.

They must keep up their level of production and successful ventures, since the feeling of being loveable for what they do evaporates when the job or project is done. This keeps the Three constantly on the go, always looking for the next success, and the next advancement. Their lives are full; they accomplish a lot, and are usually very successful. There is the constant feeling of striving; they can never attain quite enough to be able to relax. If they were to slow down they would begin to feel separate, helpless, and inadequate. The essence of the Three fixation is Love, this is exactly what they are struggling to achieve, and - in fact - block with all their doing.

Karen, a woman with the Three fixation grew up with two sisters, one with the two fixation and the other with the Four fixation. Karen was physically and emotionally abused by her mother; her father was the stable force in the family. She focused her need to please on her father, although she did try to please her mother also. Karen’s pleasing took the form of achieving success. As a child Karen avoided feeling the pain of the abuse by always being active. As an adult, she is aware that the pain of her childhood still exists on a deep level. She believes that she uses her drive and determinism to stay away from her emotions. Karen tried to follow in her father’s footsteps, becoming a successful business woman.

Karen’s sister Beth, the one with the Two fixaiton, was more daddy’s little girl, and tried to please him by being pleasant and giving. She had a difficult relationship with her mother, as they all did. As an adult Beth is a pleasant easygoing person, helping people by being a massage therapist.

The third sister Deb, who has the Four fixation, was and is the most emotionally dramatic of the three. She is more spontaneous, and hippy like. She tried to get attention by being the emotional one.

Four Fixation

The Four’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is, “there is no real center which supports me.” This lack of support is the Four’s interpretation of the lack that exists in the nurturing environment.

From that first distorted interpretation a personal delusional reference point is set up. For the Four fixation it is, “there has been a personal tragedy.” This feeling of there being no center; therefore, nothing to which to belong is experienced as a tragedy. All this is experienced on a non-verbal level.

The reaction to the distorted perception and delusional interpretation is always personal. In the case of the Four fixation the next leap is, “I am separate, I have a separate center from all of creation. And therefore I do not belong, I have been left out.” This reaction first comes up within the family, later it is recreated over and over again in life.

Sally a woman with the Four fixation grew up with a brother who had the Two fixation. Her issue was more around her father who became abusive toward her mother and then left the family. She felt abandoned by her father, and spent many years of her adult life trying to win his love and attention; never quite feeling good enough. This carried over into her relationships with men; where she picked men who were not fully available, and who couldn’t love her the way she wanted to be loved.

Sally’s brother Ken has the Two fixation. He had and has a special relationship with his mother. As a child he had a difficult relationship with his father, never feeling smart enough; while his mother protected him and made him feel special. In his adult life, he still has a special relationship with his mother and picks women who need his help.

Compensation

Feeling disconnected and outside of all of creation is devastating. In order to be functional the Four fixation must find a way to compensate. They do this by trying to control life. They try to be unique and special to win a place of belonging. This fits right in with the delusional perception - being the only ones separate from all of creation is a very special role. To compensate, they try to be special enough to regain entry. This just perpetuates the original delusion.

The other way they try to control life is by being very dramatic and emotional. The tragic story of their life is always worse than anyone else’s. Their suffering is more devastating. Oddly enough, this special suffering that they indulge in buffers the deeper feelings of not belonging because of not being loveable enough. Underneath the feeling of being left out is the deeper knowing (delusional) that they are not worthy of being loved; that they have been banished because of some terribly shameful thing they did. They are the cause of their tragic life somehow or other. “I am tragically flawed; my life is a tragedy.”

Radiance, which is the essence of the Four fixation is actually the energy behind the creative impulse. Being creative and original is a natural result of the essence of the Four. This is blocked by the Four’s constant urge to be special.

Five Fixation

The Five’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is; there is no interconnectedness. This is how the child perceives what is missing.

This perception of lack of interconnectedness is then distorted further with the delusion of being a small, insignificant, deficient, and a separate entity. When a small child feels disconnected from their mother and father they become terrified. They sense how small they are and how large their parents are, and to be separate from these large people and the large world is overwhelming.

The reaction the child has to this overwhelming separation is to isolate themselves; feeling inadequate to deal with reality. They believe they are too small and fragile for this world.

Compensation

Feeling disconnected from the people close to them and the world is a terrifying feeling. Feeling this, combined with the distorted belief that they are fragile, weak, and inadequate, the Five tries to retreat from the world. They try to find a safe place where they can feel at peace - always searching for that essence. They begin to hide and avoid reality - sometimes just by being invisible, and other times by retreating into their minds.

The mind of the Five becomes the only safe place to hide. It is the only place no one can intrude. The Five can develop an entire world complete with people to interact with in a newly created language. They can dwell in a fantasy world that can be fulfilling and compelling. Other Fives retreat into a world of research, always gathering more data. They can have the sense that if they just had more information they would feel more substantial, more adequate, safer; therefore, experience more peace.

The Peace that the Five is looking for is their essence and is always present.

Alice a woman with the Five fixation grew up with two sisters and a brother. There was a lot of emotional drama in the family; her father went into rages, her mother was a liar, one sister was emotionally unpredictable, the other created dramas for attention, and her brother got lost in his mind. Alice’s perception was that life was overwhelming; her reaction was to detach and live in her mind. She felt disconnected from everyone. One of her sisters thought she was unaffected by all the chaos, and thought that Alice’s friends knew her better than anyone in the family. As an adult, Alice still feels isolated from people, and tries not to engage life. She still believes that no one really understands her.

Alice’s older sister Rachel has the Four fixation. She sided with her mother through all the emotional upheaval. She tried desperately to win her mother’s love. Often her attempts at getting love were overly dramatic, and sometimes self-destructive; with suicide attempts, and drug overdoses. As an adult Rachel is emotionally needy, always needing the attention of a boyfriend. She vacillates between feeling tragically alone, disconnected, and flawed, to feeling superior to all her friends and boyfriends.

Candace is one of the middle children and has the Six fixation. She retreated from the family, except for her angry outbursts. She felt like there was no she could really trust. She was even outside the sibling hierarchy. Her siblings didn’t know what was going on inside her.

Larry was also a middle child and has the Nine fixation. He retreated into his mind, not as a way to figure out life, but as a way to avoid the emotional drama, and to be comfortable. Larry tended to side with his father, believing his mother caused the problems in the family. As an adult, he is the one that has found a way to fit in and live relatively conventionally.

Six Fixation

The Six’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is that there is no one to trust. They feel a lack of protection; things feel too nebulous, shaky, and not firm enough. So the first perception is, “There is no one to trust.” From that point the Six will recreate this belief over and over again through their perceptions and reactions through their life.

This perception is then filtered further through the distortion of fixation and a personal delusion is formed. For the Six the personalization of lack of trust translates into, “I cannot trust the environment or myself.” This delusion stimulates the reaction of fear and paranoia. I can’t trust myself because I know I am too small and fragile to take care of myself in this overwhelming world in which anything can happen, and does happen. This is overwhelmingly terrifying.

Compensation

The level of terror that arises for the Six fixation is too unbearable to live with. So they begin to depend on their mind to perceive what is dangerous before it occurs so that they can protect themselves. This develops into a hyper vigilance, which vacillates between being highly intuitive and paranoid. While the thinking keeps the paranoia alive it also acts as a buffer or distraction from the intensity of the terror of annihilation that arises from the depth of their insecurity.

The Six fixation keeps their minds busy with constant thought about the future. They are truly the What If people. Their thinking is very fast, one thought merging with the next leaving no time for stillness; also leaving no time for emotions. The interesting thing for the Six fixation is that when they are actually in a terrifying situation that is real and happening in the present they are not afraid.

The constant mental activity of the Six blocks the perception of the essence of the spacious ground of being, which is always present. If they were in contact with their essence they would feel safe and trust.

Nannet a woman with the Six fixation grew up with an older sister with the Three fixation, and a brother with the Nine fixation. Nannet’s perspective of her childhood was that her father wasn’t there and her mother was very hard to please. Her father was emotionally unstable when she was growing up. . She felt like there was no real support or guidance for her She escaped into her mind to avoid being aware of her anxiety. As an adult Nannet is afraid to get involved in life; she dropped out of college just before graduating, avoided romantic relationships, stayed in a job that didn’t challenge her, and never learned how to drive.

Nannet’s sister Sara, who has the Three fixation, was the pretty one, while Nannet was the smart one. Sara learned that image would get her everywhere. She uses her beauty to seduce her way through life; and leans on Nannet’s brains to facilitate her success in the world. Nannet did most of her sister’s graduate work, and projects for work. Sara then presents her assignments and projects as her own.

Nannet and Sara’s brother Josh, who probably has a Nine fixaiton, was the favorite; he got all the resources to make it in the world. Josh’s perspective on his childhood was that everything was easy. He learned to be comfortable with the emotional problems by just going along with what everyone wanted. As an adult Josh has had it easy in his career, but not his intimate relationships. He has been married several times, always because the woman has demanded marriage. Two of his marriages were the result of affairs initiated by the women, and then pregnancies.

Seven Fixation

The Seven’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is the perception of the Divine having no plan for creation. To the child this makes life seem haphazard and chaotic. When they look around through this distortion their understanding of life becomes deluded. The child personalizes this delusion and feels that they are lost with no inner guidance to give them a sense of direction.

To cope with this terrifying perception they decide to make their own plan, with the hope that a self made plan will help them feel some sense of orientation. Since there is no intrinsic order to life, and no Divine plan that naturally unfolds, I must create my own.

Compensation

This feeling of being lost in a world that has no meaningful flow in any particular direction can be terrifying. To compensate for this terror the Seven decides to use their minds to figure out what to do. It seems important to set some goal that they will arrive at in the future. This becomes a never ending search for the next experience that will give them a sense of purpose and will give their lives meaning. The Seven fixation is constantly looking for their place in the world, for the feeling of having sacred work. The main problem is that the search is outside and in constant motion. If this constant movement stops for any length of time they become restless and anxious.

Since the essence of the Seven fixation is bliss what attracts them to the next experience is the possibility of finding this illusive ecstasy that they sense is their true nature. So, they are drawn to people, events, situations that promise to bring them bliss. Sometimes the new experience does bring them this excitement for a brief time. When the excitement is gone it is time for them to move on. For the Seven, life always must feel new so they can keep their feeling of enthusiasm alive. If they can’t feel enthusiastic enough just by moving from one activity, relationship, or job, to another, they will resort to using drugs or alcohol. Anything to bolster the excitement and that gives them a new experience. They are particularly interested in drugs that will open their minds, and bring them into another dimension. They lack the understanding of what allows the quality of newness to emerge in each moment.

The bliss and ecstasy they are in search is their essence and is always present. The constant searching is in the way of this awareness.

Randy, a man with the Seven pattern, grew up with his older sister who has the Four pattern. His parents went through a nasty divorce when he was in Third grade. As he described how rough the divorce was, and even the two years before the divorce, his voice is light and jolly. He explains that he and his sister had a difficult time, and yet he also says that he had a good childhood, and was always happy. Randy had a lot of friends, was popular, did well in school, and was good at sports. Even while his family was going through a tumultuous time he was happy. He stayed busy or watched TV. As an adult Randy has a hard time committing to anything; girl friends, jobs, hobbies, anything. He still considers himself to be a happy person. He blames his inability to commit in relationships to what happened to his parents.

Jen, Randy’s sister, was in the Fifth grade when their parents divorced. For her it was rough and she felt emotionally scarred by the events that occurred during that time. She never felt like she got enough love or attention. As an adult she is still unhappy, and still holds onto the pain of the divorce, and her anger toward her father. All she ever wanted was to find someone to marry who would give her the love she never got as a child.

Eight Fixation

The Eight’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is the perception that something terrible has happened. This is then interpreted further to mean that what is most precious and true has been lost or destroyed. For the child the universe, which is the family, revolves around them. From this basic general delusion the child then makes a personal meaning. The Eight fixation takes this sense of something being terribly wrong to mean that they have done something terribly wrong, they have sinned, this is the personal delusion of the Eight fixation. Somehow they have destroyed what is most precious in life. This belief is excruciating to live with. The reaction to this is to find someone else to blame. The devastating belief that they have done this horrible thing and destroyed what is good and true about life must be buried for the Eight to endure life. They cover this distortion of enormous guilt by turning their gaze outward searching for someone or something outside of themselves to blame. It is too unbearable to know that it is their fault, so they look elsewhere.

Compensation

Once this shift has occurred, which takes place early in childhood; the Eight fixation becomes angry and aggressive. They use their tough person façade to disguise their feelings of guilt and weakness; which simulates the essence of power. They are willing to take on anyone and every situation that seems unfair, unjust, or false. They are constantly on the look out for who or what is to blame, and take on the responsibility of punishing the guilty parties.
Eights have their own rules and moral code that they believe the world should follow, and it is up to them to enforce these standards. There is often a double standard to their sense of justice. While others must always tell the truth and do what is right according to Eight code, the Eight doesn’t follow the same standards. They are allowed more leeway because they answer to a higher order of justice. They are the creators of the rules. “Do as I say not as I do.”

Eights are born with a sense of power, and people respond to the force that emanates from them early on. Since this power is distorted first by the misconception of something being wrong, then by the personalization of this flaw, and later the projection of the problem outward, the power is misused. When the power is mistaken to be theirs personally, and their role in the world is to find and punish the wrong doers, this power is used to beat up the bad guys. The essence, which is power that is not personal, is blocked.

Glen, a man with the Eight fixation grew up in a family with two sisters. His parents found the world overwhelming and retreated from it. As a child Glen felt unprepared to deal with life, because his parents were inadequate, especially his father. Glen found the world to be a dangerous place, and he felt unequipped. Every accident or fight toughened him. He saw his mother as fragile; he tried to protect her, and wanted his whole family to shield her. As an adult, Glen is an angry man, and believes the world is unfair, and that he must fight his way through. He is still angry with his father for not guiding him, and blames him for his problems.

Glen’s youngest sister Jane has the Four fixation. She felt outside of the family. As a child she would wonder if she was in the wrong family. She had the feeling that some day she would find her real family, and her real life. She was very emotional, but because being emotional was not accepted in her family, she imploded her feelings. As an adult Jane has struggled with feelings of abandonment and being on the outside of life. Her imploded emotions had a paralyzing affect; making it difficult for her to connect with people.

Stacey, was the middle child, and has the One fixation. Her view of her parents was that they didn’t know about life, so she had to figure it out for herself. She felt that she raised herself, and developed her own moral code. She explained to her family that she acts like she knows what is right, because she does.

Nine Fixation

The Nine’s first take on the inadequacy they are born into is on the inconsistency of love. Love seems to come and go; it is not always present. The child feels devastated when love is not there.

Somewhere deep inside the psyche of the Nine is the knowing that true love is always present. Therefore the love that is in their nurturing environment only occurs from time to time it must mean that love is conditional. This is the delusion of the Nine fixation. The child always makes their distorted impression personal. So the next leap for the Nine fixation is the belief that they are not loveable; they must be intrinsically flawed. This is the personal delusion of the Nine. The young child does not have the capacity to understand that the inconsistency of love they feel in the family is due to the inadequacy in the family. True love is always present even when individuals are unable to perceive, feel, or share it. The reaction to this delusion is to become numb or to try to disappear to avoid feeling the pain of not being loved.

Compensation

The distorted perception of being intrinsically flawed is so unbearable for the Nine fixation that the only way they can cope with it is to go to sleep. This perception leads the Nine to feel that there is no love inside or outside. This distorted belief feels so devastating, it leaves no reason to live. So short of dying, the Nine becomes numb and unconscious. In order to pull this off they must deny all emotion, especially anything that feels uncomfortable. All emotion can feel uncomfortable if it gets intense or strong, even positive emotions.

The Nine fixation develops a false sense of comfort in the world. It is a comfort that is possible only if they can keep all feelings on a superficial level. This means that they cannot engage life fully. They must hang back and never quite participate completely, always holding a part of themselves out. They can never fully commit, be completely present, or feel anything deeply. They must stay comfortable at all costs.
This also means that they try to avoid all conflicts, or arguments. In doing this they agree and back down even when agreeing goes against what feels right. Nines give up their will, and their awareness of their own needs, to be comfortable. There is the unconscious fear that if they allowed themselves to feel intense emotions that they would realize how intrinsically inferior they truly are.

The essence of the Nine is immortal being, which is what their behavior simulates. This deep comfort and having no sense of being of their own, imitates their true essence.

Lenny a man with the Nine fixation grew up with his older sister Susan, who had the Five fixation. Lenny felt overwhelmed by his mother’s pent up anger, and just being alive. He didn’t speak at all until he was 3, and then spoke in complete sentences. After he began speaking he was generally a happy child, until just before he reached puberty. At which time there was some disapproval from his father and rejection of his affection by his mother, which made Lenny retreat. As an adult he has had a difficult time being able to be angry or direct with people. He is generally shy, especially in group situations.

Susan’s perspective on her childhood was that her father wasn’t there and her mother was incompetent, so she had to raise herself. She didn’t feel a connection to either of her parents. She did feel close to her brother and tried to protect him. As an adult Susan has for the most part avoided being involved in life. She got married and raised a child, but in the most detached way. She keeps her life as simple as she can; which means, with as few involvements as possible.

Freedom From Fixation

Each fixation has a pathway or gateway that will bring them through the layers of fixated perception and behavior, to their true essence. This next section describes the path to freedom for each fixation.

One

The gateway to purity and true perfection is for the One to perceive reality just as it is, without finding fault. Seeing everything as unfolding just as it should is tremendously freeing. When the One realizes that all of existence is evolving and everything in life serves that purpose, even what may seem bad and wrong can be seen as exactly what is needed for growth. From this perspective the One begins to understand that they really don’t know what is right and best and, certainly, don’t need to correct others.

The result of this open perception is integrity of action. The One begins to behave in a way that is honest, moral and ethical. Their behavior reflects an acceptance of life, and is spontaneous without judgment. Their behavior becomes flawless in the sense that all is included even mistakes can be part of what is flawless.

In the liberated state there is no doer, what is done comes from what Is, and is as it should be. There is no separate self that perceives from within themselves, what is outside of them. There is perception and doing, which can be called spontaneous Right Action.

Two

The Gateway to altruistic kindness is the humiliating truth of the pride of ego. Being able to recognize the falseness of the giving, the underlying needs, and expectations, bring about an embarrassment. A feeling of being found out. This will begin to burn through the false self.

For the Two there is the distorted belief in free will, which, for them, means making life accommodate their desires. This comes from the compensation of the belief that no one will take care of me, and I cannot do it myself; therefore I must manipulate life in order to be taken care of. When the Two learns to go with the flow of life there is finally a deep sense of freedom.

With this release of false giving and manipulation, and the humbling of being exposed there is spontaneous action from the source. Now there can be kindness but the sense that you are being kind is now gone. Often there will be no awareness that a kind act was done. It is so natural and flows through you so smoothly there is no time to grab on and claim it as yours and feel proud. Actually there is no longer a personal identity to assert ownership of the doing.

The Result is Compassion, the spontaneous action from essence. When kindness comes from here, it is spontaneous action from the essence - no doer.

Three

The gateway to the Loving Fullness is the owning up to the inner dishonesty of lack of emotion. The Three fixation must allow space in their day, they must slow down enough to begin to feel what is going on inside of themselves. When they do slow down they are first aware of being uncomfortable, which may be understood as unproductive. Being unproductive feels wrong to them, and can be threatening. If they can stay with these initial feelings they will begin to find the underlying emotions of being unlovable, unworthy, and shameful. Only when the Three opens to these deeper unlovable feeling will the true essence of Love be revealed.

The lie is discovered in layers. The first layers may just be that they pretend to be what others want them to be in order to be successful. Just below this layer they will find that they don’t really know what they like to do, or who they enjoy being with. Deeper than this is the feeling of being unlovable. The realization arises that all this doing was to compensate for these unbearable feelings; that if they weren’t productive there was nothing else that was worthwhile about them. This reveals the fear of being all alone, isolated, and separate form all of What Is.

Once all of this is accepted without judgment, and the emotions are felt without the buffer of a story, the feelings of being unlovable and separate dissolve away. The Three fixation relaxes and what is found is the intrinsic value inherent in all of existence. When the Three pattern releases the person becomes authentic, and feels worthwhile just because they exist.

Four

The gateway to freedom for the Four fixation is to give up the story of the tragedy of your life. They must be willing to let go of the emotional drama that flavors their experience of life. In order to be able to do this they must first acknowledge to themselves that they are somehow attached to the emotional drama. They get off on the excitement and intensity of being so emotional. If they can be really truthful they will see that they actually enjoy being tragic. They feel very special.

Once the Four fixation begins to allow the emotions to settle, they must face a feeling of flatness or blandness. This can be disturbing at first, as their sense of being special is beginning to dissolve. The feeling of being ordinary can feel like death to the Four fixation. In fact it is a kind of death. It is the death of the ego, of the false self. When this first occurs a fear can arise; “who am I without the emotional drama, I don’t think I can survive without my tragic story.” There is such a strong identification with the tragic story that they don’t know who they are without it. Life can seem boring at first; they may think that they are actually boring.

This is the opportunity for the deeper lie to surface, the lie that says that they are not loveable just for being alive. They fear that if they become ordinary no one will want them, and then they will truly be abandoned. In fact, the opposite has been true. This is the way to the Truth that not only do they belong as part of creation, but the Truth of their identity is that of creation it self. When we can recognize that there is no separation between creation and us we become one with creation, we then know ourselves to be creation itself.

This is the relaxation of the Four fixation. Each individual expression that emanates from the source is unique without being separate. You are the source; all unique expression comes from the source; now the unique expression that emanates from the source can flow freely. The result is creativity.

Five

The way out of the Five knot is to give up the attachment to the special way of thinking and the need for isolation. The thinking style and isolation is a never-ending movement away from life that brings no freedom from the inner terror. As long as the Five pattern continues to avoid everything that seems overwhelming, unpleasant, uncomfortable, frightening, etc., they will never find peace. An important step is to face the fears, to not pull back from what life presents, even if they feel unable to handle the situation. To recognize the belief that they are too weak, or inadequate is just a thought, and is most likely not correct, is an important step. The Five cannot wait to feel secure to begin to function in life; they must force themselves to engage. The willingness to meet life head on will build the strength, and sense of security that was missing.

The thinking process of the Five is a major way they avoid reality and create the illusion of being OK. When the Five gets lost in thought they don’t feel alone, and are unaware of the fear that drives the pattern. The urge to gather more information is a trap. It keeps the Five pattern isolated, withdrawn from reality, and provides the illusion that everything is fine. This thought process is the biggest attachment of the Five. As they are eliminating all other attachments, the attachment to the mind grows.

This is a two part process to freedom; the willingness to engage life just as it is, to face it without fantasy, and, letting go of the attachment to holding onto and gathering information. When this is accomplished the mind of the Five becomes open and relaxed, in a sense Empty. They then find all they need to know is available to them naturally. Just by being open and present in the moment the Five fixation relaxes and the essence of Peace becomes known.

This is the deep peace that comes when the mind is open, which is the vehicle for the omniscience of life to flow. When there is Peace and the open omniscient mind, there is automatically a feeling of interconnectedness. The person is no longer ruled by the fixation.

Six

The gateway to the spacious ground of being is being present when fear arises. Facing fear head on without recoiling, or jumping into it in denial is the way through. The tendency of the Six fixation is to either become paralyzed and unable to act, or to ignore the threatening situation and jump into it without recognizing the danger. To feel the fear, being completely aware of the physical sensation, and yet doing what is appropriate, is what unties the knot of fixation.

The Six fixation tries to prepare ahead of time for possible frightening situations. This preparation takes the form of figuring out all conceivable dangerous events before they occur. This mental activity blocks the ability to be present which interferes with the capacity to enjoy life, and also to be fully functional when real danger occurs. The most effective way to handle life-threatening situations is to be fully present in the moment. If you are lost in thoughts of the future you will be unable to see the present circumstances clearly. This will interfere with your ability to perform effectively. This mental planning is useless because events never occur the way we think they will.

When the Six fixation moves through fear directly, in the present, without the interference of the mind, the pattern dissolves and the essence of spaciousness is revealed. Once this essence is known there is a deep sense of safety. The spacious ground of being can be trusted implicitly; nothing can hurt the true essence of any fixation. This lived knowing allows for true faith and courage to emerge. All that is needed is one taste of this essence for the Six fixation to see what is real. Then when other frightening situations come up they can have the courage to go through them directly, even if the mind is talking about the dangers and presenting what if scenarios. The mind can be ignored and the attention placed in the present, the fear is felt, and action takes place anyway.

The result of living the essence of the spacious ground of being and knowing the true meaning of faith and courage, is finally having access to the strength and security which is not owned by anyone, and cannot be gotten from anyone, or anything.

Seven

The way for the Seven fixation to discover their essence of ecstatic bliss is to stop indulging in excitement. They are addicted to feeling enthusiastic and will go to great lengths to feel “high”, “bliss-ed out”, “stoked”, etc. The Seven needs to Stop. Stop making plans for the next activity, stop thinking about the next experience, stop taking drugs, drinking alcohol, indulging in gourmet food, going from one partner to another.

When the Seven stops at first they will feel restless and anxious. This feeling is terrifying and can seem unbearable. If they can bear it, which they can, they will begin to feel a joy that will bubble up from deep within. They will feel an excitement for life in the moment just as it is. Naturally, wisdom will emerge. They will find themselves able to act spontaneously in the moment without thought. A flow of action will take over, that will lead them to the right place at the right time, with no plan. The unfolding now occurs, without anyone’s help, in each moment. This can only happen through the interconnectedness of all of manifestation. This is the wisdom of the Seven.

This natural connectedness, and spontaneous action, brings with it an ecstatic bliss. This is the true enthusiasm of the Seven. When they are free they bring this wonder and awe into each moment.

Eight

The Eight can free themselves of the distortion of fixation by being willing to face the truth of their behavior. They must be willing to look inward and be responsible for their mistakes. Part of this is to accept being wrong. Since the unconscious guilt is so strong there is a tremendous motivation to avoid accepting any responsibility for making mistakes. There is an unconscious fear that if they look inside they will find something so horrendous and evil that they will not be able to survive. It takes great strength and courage to do this self-exploration. The Eight pattern must go through a devastating ego burning to find their freedom. The power that is released when they walk through this fire is enormous.

When they come out the other side of the loss of ego, which is no small death for the Eight fixation, they come through with a connection to the Truth of What Is. The personal self has relinquished the false sense of power and the intrinsic power of the source can now flow freely. The Truth that there is no separation, there is nothing wrong, and there is no one to blame brings an unselfconscious expression of innocence. There is no longer anything to hide and there is no longer the fear that the evil inside will be found and punished. They can face the world open and free. This direct innocence is full of life and vitality. Life becomes awesome.

Nine

The Nine fixation can free themselves of their distorted perception by being willing to engage life fully. They must be willing to be present for whatever comes up, without pulling back or becoming numb or unconscious. They must be willing to do whatever is appropriate in any given situation. This includes being willing to get angry and express their anger to the appropriate person or situation.

This willingness to be present and expressive is broad; it includes major life events as well as minor everyday situations. Instead of being passive or noncommittal about where to have dinner, what movie to see, whether to go to the party, etc, the Nine needs to feel what they want and express it. When someone makes them angry the Nine needs to show their anger. This is terrifying for the Nine, because they have the unconscious belief that they have a homicidal rage deep inside. If they take the lid off this rage it would be out of control; they would do something horrible and be banished from life. Underneath this is the deepest unconscious distorted perception of being intrinsically inferior. When the Nine is finally willing to engage life this belief will come to the surface to be faced directly. Facing this fear allows the fixation to dissolve.

When the distorted perception, which is the fixation dissolves pure energy from the source is released and flows freely. The quality of this energy is unconditional love, which can only be known through the conscious connection with immortal being. All other love is limited and conditional.

Conclusion

We are born with a fixation, which blocks our awareness of our true essence. This distorts the way we see the world and ourselves. Each fixation is the seed of its essence. Only by complete and total acceptance of life and ourselves exactly as it is will we find true freedom. This of course includes all the qualities of fixation. Acceptance means being aware of what is going on without judgment. This provides the space to recognize the difference between Truth and fixation.

By finding the distorted perceptions and beliefs and facing life naked, without all the trappings of the fixation, the essence is revealed. Once we know the truth of our existence there is a feeling of belonging, peace, a loving stillness, and our actions become spontaneous and compassionate. We are free.